‘Not all disabilities are visible… Merry Christmas!’: Stroke survivor pre-boards his flight while traveling for the holidays, impatient mother shames him for moving too slowly

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Dec 24, 2024 5:00 PM EST

Nothing makes holiday travel more stressful than having to travel with a Karen. We know you have to know what a Karen is by now, but if not, just think of the most entitled person you know and now put them in the worst mood ever and have them try to confront any sort of slight inconvenience with diplomacy. That's right, you won't see any respect or adult behavior, you will see a grown person throwing a tantrum about something very insignificant. That is a Karen. So when you start to board a flight that is packed, during a time of year that is already busting with travel, and you encounter a Karen throwing a tantrum, you really start to lose faith in humanity. In this Redditor's case, he was just trying to do something to make everyone's lives a little easier, but the Karen couldn't compute that with out visual aid…

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    Cheezburger Image 10446276096
    via Unsplash+ (and Chris Brignola)

  • Those who don't live under a rock and have empathy, understand that not all disabilities are visible. From mental to easily masked physical ailments, it's none of our business. So when you see someone pre-boarding a flight who doesn't have kids or looks like anything is “wrong” with them, you leave them alone and mind your own business. For example, in the instance of this stroke survivor who looks “normal” but can't lift heavy objects, especially over his head into an overhead compartment, you would not be able to tell what's “wrong” with him. 

    This Karen pre-boarding with her kids set a horrible example by rushing, intimidating, and mocking this poor man just because she couldn't compute why he was pre-boarding. She went so far that the flight attendant had to give her a talking to and even asked the man if he wanted to escalate the situation to the pilot. The man just wanted to get home for Christmas. But, it doesn't matter the time of year, a Karen is gonna Karen. 

  • 02
    To the lady who shamed and yelled at me for pre-boarding at ATL ATL to BDL this morning: My wife and I only pre-board when we have carry-ons because only one of my arms works for lifting anything over my shoulder. We've learned that it's faster and easier for everyone if we pre-board and take the time needed to load our luggage overhead without holding up the line.
    via Budd311
  • 03
    Surviving a stroke and re-learning how to walk and talk was already a challenge. But having people like the young lady with her child accuse me of not being disabled and telling me to "hurry up and get out of her way" is next-level ignorant and mean. Her parting comment after I snap at her trying to contain my frustration is her mocking me.
    via Budd311
  • 04
    We literally pre-boarded to make things smoother for everyone, and I do my best to hide my disability until I have no choice- like lifting a 20lb bag over my head! So here's a friendly reminder: Just because someone isn't old or in a wheelchair doesn't mean their need to pre-board is up for your judgment. For the record, I'd much rather have both arms working and board in my assigned zone!!
    via Budd311
  • 05
    In this case, the flight attendant witnessed the exchange and actually went back to talk to the young lady. They even asked if I wanted to escalate it to the captain, which I assume would not have ended well for her, or possibly delay the whole plane. I chose not to escalate and let her live in her own miserable world. I see plenty of posts here about people judging others for pre-boarding, so let this be your daily reminder: Not all disabilities are visible, and quite frankly, it's none of busi
    via Budd311
  • 06
    Pirate Vulcan - Merry Christmas. What's that saying? Everyone has their own sack of rocks. We have no idea what is going on with anyone else and you certainly can't tell by looking on the outside. I love that you handled it with grace. She does have to live with her own miserable burdens. I got shamed by a GA once for family boarding with my daughter. She was probably 6 at the time. GA said I shouldn't be boarding yet because she was too old for family boarding. I
    via Pirate_Vulcan
  • 07
    was trying to explain that my daughter has an intellectual disability. She gets very anxious when crowded with people and will completely melt down. That would not make anyone happy on the plane. But I don't like to speak of my daughter's disability in front of her. That really makes her sad. So, I was also trying to be discreet. My daughter didn't think anything of boarding with other families and kids.
    via Pirate_Vulcan
  • 08
    She looks just like any other average kid, so it's deceiving to others. I just continued to board and the GA didn't stop me, but continued to shame as I walked down the gangway. My daughter is 17 now. Thru lots of occupational and other therapy, we have been fine with our general boarding for about a decade. If you saw her in line, you would think she's an average teen. You wouldn't know that she reads on a third grade level, can't count money, and can't tie her shoes. She still has all of the a
    via Pirate_Vulcan
  • 09
    I'd help you with your bag, without any shame or questions. I'd assume none of my business if you boarded before me. I never understood why anyone really cared. They aren't closing the door until we are all on. It's not like you are getting to your destination sooner. I think some people look at it as if someone else has some minor advantage over them and can't stand it. So, while she may have the use of both arms, her attitude will be a disability in her life.
    via Pirate_Vulcan
  • 10
    abstract_thoughts_37 I get it all the time.... I hate flying..... I was declared blind at 35 (37 now) I have a rare genetic disorder. Being that I can't see clearly more than about 7 ft on a good day. I don't use a dog or a cane yet and I am constantly berated by people who claim im faking or that I shouldn't get assistance when I ask for it.... I wouldn't even be able to navigate an unfamiliar airport now as I can't read basically anything displayed to tell me where I am or where I'm going....
    via abstract_thoughts_37
  • 11
    TaylorMade2566 always assume if someone is pre- boarding and they don't "look" disabled, they've spoken to a GA and told them what their issue is. I agree though, too many people make something like this into a huge deal when it's really none of their business
    via TaylorMade2566
  • 12
    krunk_rabbit So sorry she was ride to you, we've all been frustrated boarding but it's never ok to yell at other passengers boarding. Unpopular opinion incoming: As someone who traveled with my infants and still travels with my children now. Pre-boarding with a small child does nothing other than maybe make getting to your window seat easier. Otherwise, you're actually at a disadvantage for 30+ minutes while others board and your child is couped up and getting antsy.
    via krunk_rabbit
  • 13
    25point4cm Feel for you. Two artificial shoulders here and a displaced clavicle. Emasculating when your wife has to lift the carryon into the overhead while you stand there looking able bodied. Note to TSA: not everyone can lift their arms as high as your scanner would like.
    via 25point4cm
  • 14
    FlippyFlippenstein I sat next to a lady that pre-boarded. She was very nice, and I could not tell why she was preboarding, and of course it's none of my business. She was a nice lady and later told me that after a stroke she got huge problem with her cognitive abilities and sometimes her balance. That's why she pre borded. I told her that I could not tell that she wasn't normal. That made her so happy she almost cried. This was her first flying since her stroke, and she had been very afraid to b
    via FlippyFlippenstein
  • 15
    Dismal_Love_1042 pre-board because I have multiple anaphylactic allergies, which can be activated by touching something and then touching my face or something I eat. I pre-board to sanitize my seating area to ensure I will not touch any allergens and force the plane to divert. I am 40-something and otherwise able-bodied. I receive plenty of stares, dirty looks, and comments. People are extremely r de, yet I imagine they'd prefer to not have to divert because I didn't pre- board. FTR, I travel wi
    via Dismal_Love_1042
  • 16
    mismatchedluggage Unpopular opinion. Always escalate. They get away with it because people roll their eyes and walk away. Nope. Escalate that sh. Shame them. You publicly call me out. You publicly get spanked. I'm happy to be delayed 30 minutes in support.
    via mismatchedluggage
  • 17
    TitanThePony People using handicapped parking spots can face that as well. They may look okay on the outside, but might have severe cardio pulmonary problems, making it hard for them to even make it to the door. It's sad but people cheat sometimes. I wish our society was more compassionate to those with disabilities, and we had a public conscience of responsibility not to cheat, litter, etc.
    via TitanThePony

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